It seems like she was just a fresh face out of high school only a short while ago, running up and down stadiums belting out feel-good hits about young love.  Today she is Taylor Swift, Super Bowl LVIII Champion.

After another long season wearing down her body, giving her all to her fans, Swift descended onto the field in Las Vegas for a shot at becoming the first female celebrity Super Bowl champion.  Her pre-game warm-up routine was lengthy and comprehensive, as many were questioning if she had the speed and stamina to play on the world’s biggest stage.  As if!

As has become common practice for Sunday warriors, Swift painted her face with dark black rings around her eyes, likely to intimidate her opponents, and bold red markings around her lips and mouth, evoking an almost savage cannibalistic visage sure to drain the blood from the hearts of the men she would soon destroy.  The famous trail of bodies she has left in her wake, notwithstanding last night’s carnage of masculine football hopefuls, was the thing of legends.  It takes a lot of balls to play in the NFL when you’re a 5’11” 107-pound female.  Luckily, she spent the night collecting them from the unlucky sacks on the field.

Early in the first quarter Swift led her team with an aggressive combo air-ground attack that had the San Fransisco 49ers defense guessing what would she do next?  Her usually electric touch turned to bad luck and bad blood as one of her supporting role players fumbled the ball, leading to a 49ers field goal and the early lead.  As the camera panned to the sidelines, she could be seen mouthing “I knew you were trouble” to the dejected receiver who would not return to the game.

Still in the first half Swift set out to score with the new guy on the field who uncharacteristically also came up short on a third down option-pass-read-delay-up-the-middle-Statue-of-Liberty-screen-fake-sweep-back-to-the-sideline-hot-route that had been working all season, however the Niner’s defense read it like an Hemingway novel and forced a punt.  Swift sat on the sideline with a blank space look on her face before coach Andy Reid told her to shake it off and get back in the game.  Moments later, her boyfriend Travis Kelce nearly knocked the coach over in a tirade for having not been in on the crucial third down play, prompting Swift to separate the two and telling Kelce what every emotionally charged lover needs to hear at a moment like that – “you need to calm down,” which he did immediately.

Trailing at the midway point, Swift, rather than watch the unusually tame half-time show featuring a mostly clothed Usher and friends, took the opportunity to motivate her team.  Taking responsibility for her less-than-stellar performance, she told them, “I did something bad,” before reminding them, “You belong with me.” This moment was like “our song,” finally asking them, “Are you ready for it?” repeatedly until she ran out of cliché song lyrics.

The third quarter began with a couple of streakers running out onto the field only to be apprehended by security.  Game analysts Tony Romeo and Jim Nantzipants had a good laugh, as we all know if you want to be on the field naked at the Super Bowl, you need to be part of the half-time show.

A long march down the field culminated in a score off a cleverly designed play called the getaway car, where Swift faked falling down injured, causing the field full of men to rush to her aid only to quickly pitch the ball to an undefended running back who scampered untouched into the end zone.  The mad genius of Andy Reid and his ability to manipulate the opposing team like a classroom full of children tied the game headed into the fourth quarter.

Attempting to mount a historic comeback reminiscent of Bud Light after they cut Dylan Mulvaney to bring Peyton Manning and Emmitt Smith out of retirement, Swift marched her team across midfield before calling a read-option-sequin-dime-trap-curl-route-matrix-collarbone-shuffle-pass to the flat that led to yet another turnover.  The replay appeared to show her pass had been thrown behind the receiver who she was seen berating on the sidelines.  The cameras could see her telling her teammate, “Look what you made me do,” before walking away, muttering what appeared to be, “We are never ever getting back together.”  Heeeellls naw!

Needing a miracle, Swift headed up to the executive boxes, where some of her friends obliged by calling on the Prince of Darkness to stifle the 49ers, who had packed the stands with Bay Area faithful in the familiar environs of Sin City.  As they waved their spiritual gang signs furiously in the air, Swift could be seen slamming back a drink like the big boss lady she is before running back onto the field and sacrificing a live chicken to Molech.

The fourth quarter saw Swift single-handedly bringing her team back from the brink.  After wisely summoning demonic energy to tilt the odds in her favor, she literally ran over the backs of her linemen before throwing a pass to herself to tie the game.  Cameras panned to the celebrity fan box and caught a gape-mouthed Tom Brady jumping up and down in admiration of this gridiron goddess who was shredding his records like an FBI agent.

In overtime, the 49ers could only manage a field goal, which set the stage for Miss Tay-Tay to do the unthinkable.  After fielding the kick-off, she ran headlong into the heart of the 49ers’ special teams’ defense before breaking into a Siren-like song that mesmerized her tacklers and the stadium half-full of ex-boyfriends.  Then, in what appeared to be a series of laterals to herself, she galloped down the field doing cartwheels into the end-zone, winning her first Super Bowl of what fans believe will be many given the steady stream of league “talent.”   Following the game, she thanked black people for the month of February before giving herself the vaunted Lombardi Trophy.

An emotional and still single Tom Brady was seen openly weeping in the crowd.

The post Bananas: Taylor Swift Wins First Super Bowl Championship & MVP appeared first on Granite Grok.

The state of your dollar just took another kick to the McNuggets. The US Senate has passed a 95 billion dollar “aid” package to the Military-industrial complex under the guise of supporting wars in Ukraine and Israel, planned war in Southeast Asia, and nothing for US Border Security.

On Feb. 4, the Senate unveiled the text of a bipartisan national security bill to provide aid to Ukraine during its war against Russia and Israel during its conflict with Hamas, along with border security provisions, though it was rejected by the body on Feb. 7 after Republicans deemed the latter provisions inadequate to mitigate illegal immigration. A new version of the bill, stripped of such provisions, was passed by the Senate on Tuesday at 6:37 AM by a vote of 70 yeas to 29 nays in extraordinary circumstances, after the Senate remained in session throughout the night.

Remember when Trump couldn’t get a few billion to finish the southern border wall? The same sort of deterrent Democrats use to protect their homes and neighborhoods. It’s pretty uninviting, a wall (it looks like we need one on the northern border now, too). And if you remind the world that we’re not an open door and will follow existing law, there is less incentive for third parties to pay for ships, busses, trains, and planes filled with third-worlders and move them to places from which they cannot advance into the US.

Alternately, even just one billion would provide travel costs to return a significant number of illegals loitering in local hotels, rec centers, airports, and street corners. Put them on a bus to the airport (unless they are living at the airport) and send them back, or – better yet – ship them to Geroge Soros’ home(s), Bill Gates Estate, and Barry Obama’s island mansion.

In Massachusetts, Boston City Councilwoman Julia Mejia is asking residents to open their homes to the invaders. She says it is a shared responsibility. No. Following the law is a shared responsibility, and the Biden administration and Democrat cities and states have been ignoring it for years. Now that they know what that looks like, they’d like to blame and burden you.

Councilwoman Julia Mejia, to the best of our knowledge, has not opened her home up to any illegals as the Democrat Administrations she supports (Boston, Massachusetts, and Biden) continue to violate the law to the detriment of actual citizens and taxpayers.

While in Congress, the people we elected to protect us from the government use it to destroy our savings and our nation.

I think Mr. Trump would have had this all worked out long ago by not blocking a peace deal between Ukraine and Russia. Biden did that. Back in 2022, his administration got Boris Johnson to convince Ukraine to bail on a peace deal that would have ended the conflict maybe tens of billions of US dollars ago and a lot of lost Ukrainian lives (for those of you still standing with Ukraine).

You’d be right to ask why.

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They can say it is bipartisan, which is rare in a Congress with a more secure boundary between the two Parties than our southern border. But I think you can also call it a Hail Mary when the proposed bill is sponsored by two Senators who have announced their retirement from public service.

Senators Mitt Romney (R-UT) and Joe Manchin (D-WV) have joined forces and want to see the creation of a Fiscal Commission to review Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid. The House Budget Committee recently approved a bill that would form a 16-member fiscal commission to review the retirement program and others that face severe shortfalls. The House proposal was also bi-partisan.

The Social Security program has been in place since 1937 and is relied on by over 60 million seniors. Cuts to entitlement programs have always been considered the third rail of politics, but when you have already announced you are done, you may as well go out with a bang. With net worths of 300M and 10M, respectively, Romney and Manchin are far removed from people who rely on Social Security for $25,000 a year.

It amazes me to see how politicians can talk about cutting a program for people who worked their entire lives to qualify for Social Security, but you will never hear them cut Welfare or Snap programs. Except for Frank Siller and his Tunnels to Towers foundation, you never hear Washington bureaucrats address Veteran poverty or homelessness, but they will vote for more funding for Ukraine. Politicians want to form a commission to study cuts and changes to Social Security, but when did you hear one propose a plan to pay back the Social Security Fund the $3 Trillion the government has “borrowed” from it? Maybe Biden can forgive that debt so politicians never have to speak of it again.

Fiscal Commissions are not often used, but they are a way of negotiating essential programs for the American people with virtual anonymity. The hearings are held behind closed doors. A commission in 2010 recommended raising the minimum age for Social Security and cutting benefits, but Congress voted down both. The commissions do not write bills but develop recommendations for Congress to act on. Some say the reason for the current commission is to force Republicans to support tax increases to prevent cuts in entitlements. The proposal to form the commission has an air of extortion about it.

I want to propose a commission for Congress. It would study the end of omnibus bills filled with unnecessary pork projects to satisfy special interest groups and buy votes until significant progress is made to reduce our National Debt, which is now $33 Trillion. There would be a provision that there are no raises for Congress until every person in the military lives above the poverty level and no veteran is homeless. There will be no more money or benefits given to illegal migrants until Congress eliminates Congressional pensions. I think the chances of any of my plans getting support are nonexistent, but they show how messed up our priorities are in Washington.

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