Every time Congress decides to “debate” whether or not to give themselves a raise, they try to do it in secret because it’s a very unpopular move, for obvious reasons.
Whenever I hear that, I think of an alternative deal. The critters make $174K a year, which is about three times the average wages of the people who pay their salary.
The problem is that whenever these critters get together, their antics cost the taxpayers even more.
So, I have a modest proposal. If the critters want to grant themselves a $10k raise, I say give them a $50k raise, but only on the condition that they stay home and not “govern” us.
The problem, for us, is that they can make much, much more than that by not staying home. Feinstein died with a net worth of over $100 million. Pelosi has more than $100 million. There are others, in all parties, that have figured out how to milk the system for far more than their meager salary.
Consider the recent funding of Ukraine—hundreds of billions sent there with no accountability. Certainly, much of that has come back to members of Congress and their enablers in the military-industrial complex.
What if, instead, we officially recognized the obvious corruption and paid each member of Congress $100 million to go away? “OK, guys, you won. Take your winnings and go home. And never come back again.”
Let’s look at the economics.
Four hundred thirty-five members of the House and 100 members of the Senate. None Supreme Court justices, the President and Vice President. Five hundred forty-six hungry, corrupt mouths to feed. $100 million each is only $54.6 billion.
That’s less than half of the $113 billion that has been sent just to Ukraine in the last two years. Add that to the billions (trillions?) given to big pharma, big agriculture, big tech, and a thousand others.
And you can bet that there will be billions more sent to Israel as that certainly will become the darling of the military-industrial complex in the coming weeks and months.
So, I think giving every elected critter in Washington $100 million would be quite a bargain as long as they take the money and go away.
But what about the rent-seeking lobbyists? I mean, they bought these Representatives and Senators with their hard-earned (cough!) money. What will they get from my plan?
Well, that’s going to be between the critters and their enablers. The windfall that the critters would have received will have to be shared with their lobbyist enablers.
Maybe, in the spirit of transparency that my proposal would require, all lobbyist donors would be mandated to submit invoices to their beneficiaries detailing their contributions and demanding restitution, which would include principal, plus interest, plus a return that they expected on their investment.
Everyone wins. No more sneaking around with code words like Pedo Pete and “The Big Guy.” No more pretending that “we’re making the world safe for democracy.” No more lies about “you can keep your doctor,” “Yellowcake,” or “They hate us for our freedoms.” Plus a thousand others.
We all know the system is corrupt. Instead of dancing around trying to pretend everything is on the up-and-up, let’s just admit the bastards beat us and pay them to go away.
We’ll all be better off in the long run.
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